I Am Aware Now
by Edward the VIII
Summary: "Nice one," he says in that condescending-yet-caring voice of his, and she knows, she knows.
1. His Smile

**It's been over a year since I've updated anything on this account.**

**This is a total stab in the dark, but honestly, I'd rather write and put out something than nothing at all.**

**If you like it, leave a review. I'll respond to every review I get without fail.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I Am Aware Now

_Chapter I_

* * *

_And I am aware now of how_

_Everything's gonna be fine, one day_

_Too late, I'm in hell_

_I am prepared now_

_Seems everyone's gonna be fine_

_One day too late just as well_

* * *

It's hard for her to know when it began, but she knows that it wasn't going to go away.

The way the light catches his hair, turning it from raven black to a gorgeous blue. His eyes, so deep and sensual, catching her in their depths and entrapping her. The way his lips quirk upwards ever so slightly whenever he was amused.

There's a stirring in her stomach every time she looks at him and she doesn't like it.

It's all subtle, and even she herself doesn't know and she means _know_ until she sees him smile.

It was the silliest, stupidest thing that causes it.

They were on a mission, the wind blowing gently on the path they walk, Kakashi reading his book, Sakura chatting, Sasuke walking with his hands in his pockets and a bored look on his face. She finds herself bored, unable to find something to distract herself.

So she does what she does best—she catches everyone off guard.

"Kakashi-sensei, if I asked you to do something for me, would you do it?" she asks, pigtails gently swinging as she bounds up to his side, tugging at his sleeve.

"That depends," he says, lone eye still glued to his book. "On what it is, of course," he adds a second later.

"I can't tell you! You just have to promise that you'll do it for me!" she says.

Kakashi sighs audibly. "I suppose you won't be satisfied with a no," he murmurs. "Go ahead."

"Yeaaah!" she cries.

Then she jumps on Kakashi's back, hitching her legs around him and gripping his hair.

"Piggy-back time!" A twelve year old girl, swinging off a grown man's back, was a rather amusing sight. Especially considering she was clawing at his mask. Kakashi was trying in vain to pry her off with one hand and to keep his mask on with the other.

Sakura was giggling.

She didn't have time to take _it _in during the moment, but when Kakashi shrugsher off, it was still there.

She looks up, climbing to her feet, dusting herself off, and Sasuke was looking at her… _smiling_.

"Nice one," he says in that condescending-yet-caring voice of his, and she knows, she _knows_.

* * *

It's hard to come to terms with her own feelings, harder than anything she's ever had to do.

Because-

She likes Uchiha Sasuke.

She, Uzumaki Naruko, _likes_ Uchiha Sasuke.

It was almost painful, but now she can't get it out of her head, and unfortunately, that means she can't get him out of her head either.

For years she had thought herself immune from the curse that had befallen Sakura and Ino, the curse of liking an emotionally stunted, cold, callous, cruel asshole like Sasuke.

Well, she thinks, it turns out that even _she_ wasn't immune to him.

* * *

She tries to justify it in her mind, to come to terms with it, acknowledging (begrudgingly) that he was attractive in the conventional sense. They spent so much time around each other, well, it was only natural that one of them would grow feelings for the other and since Sasuke was incapableof feeling anything other than minor annoyance toward people… that meant it had to be her.

Which irks her, because really, _she's_ supposed to be chased, she is not supposed to be the chaser. And yet she chases, unintentionally, not even realizing it.

Asking him to spar, to train more with her, subconsciously walking or standing near him and always looking at him when she plays one of her pranks, hoping against hope to elicit one of those coveted smiles that made her melt.

She hates it but every time he looks at her, smirks at her, talks to her, she thinks that she can live with it.

If only because she knew he wasn't going anywhere, nor was he going to be with anyone else.

He wasn't her's… but at least he was no one else's.

* * *

**Thank you for reading. Leave a review and I'll respond to it as fast as I can; the first chapter (this is a prologue) should be out soon enough. Have a nice one!**

**This went unbetaed, written & edited by yours truly. I am looking for a beta so if you're interested, shoot me a DM.**

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	2. The Man He Wants To Kill

**I think this has to be a new record for me & posting a second chapter. Color me surprised. Not much to say, enjoy and be sure to drop a review—I've responded to every review I've gotten so far and I intend to keep doing so, :-).**

* * *

I Am Aware Now

_Chapter II_

* * *

She has seen him show glimpses of weakness.

Back in the forest, with Orochimaru staring him down, she had seen a flicker of fear in his eyes.

But never before had she seen him as weak as he seems now.

Her heart roars in her ears. The second the danger has gone, she darts forward.

"Sasuke!" she cries.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she watches as Jiraiya moves forward, swiftly overtaking her. He rounds the corner and stops—"What the-" Jiraiya says, but she hardly hears him.

She skids to a stop in front of her fallen friend.

"Sasuke…!"

Naruko cradles him close; he isn't moving. His eyes are open and they're so _vacant_ that it makes her want to curl up and cry. His screams—oh God his screams, how they would haunt her.

_What did that man do to you_, she thinks, tears welling behind her eyes. That was Sasuke's brother, _that_ was the man he had vowed to kill. That was who he had been talking about all along.

Jiraiya's doing something off in the corner of her eyes, but she does not pay attention, all she can see is Sasuke, all she can feel is him, all she can hear is the thunder of her heart in her ears.

She's imagined cradling him like this, feeling him this close, seeing him up close and personal like this, and yet, this is nothing like she wants it to be.

"Ero-sennin…" she whispers, as she feels his presence approach them. "What did that man do to him?"

She looks up at him and she can feel the tears curving down her cheeks.

Jiraiya looks down and the look in his eyes is hard to describe.

"I don't know," is all he says.

"Sasuke," and she's not paying attention to her teacher anymore, she's focused on him, _just him._ "Please, say something." She pulls him close, pressing her forehead against his. She can feel his slow breathing, she can see the subtle twitch of his eyes, and yet he _isn't there_. "Sasuke!"

She's crying and he's just staring, staring, staring, vacant and an empty shell.

* * *

"You're sure that this Tsunade woman can heal him?" she asks, tears still staining her cheeks.

Jiraiya nods. "If anyone can do it, it's her," he says, and the confidence in his tone soothes her.

A jonin—a shinobi of high ranking—had appeared before long, having given chase to Sasuke. "I'm too late," he mutters, and Naruko barely knows him but Jiraiya identifies him as Might Gai. He's Rock Lee's teacher, she realizes, Lee being one of her classmates.

With some reluctance she had given Sasuke to the man, to take back to Konoha.

"You're _sure_," Naruko asks again, and she stops now, tugging at Jiraiya's sleeve.

He turns around and he's so tall, so imposing, and yet he radiates warmth. He smiles down at her.

"I'm very much positive," he tells her, and for the first time, he kneels down, pulling her into a hug.

She wraps her arms around his massive frame and sheds a few more tears before they pull away.

They begin to walk once more.

"I didn't know that Sasuke had a brother…" Naruko confesses, a short while later as they continue their journey. "I mean, I did. I just never put two and two together, I guess. Did he really-" She drifts off.

"Yes," Jiraiya says. "He was the one who killed Sasuke's clan."

There's a sort of finality in how he says it and it makes her shiver.

"He's the man Sasuke wants to kill," she whispers, almost to herself.

Jiraiya stops and Naruko stills as he looks at her once more. He kneels down again but it's not to hug her; he puts a hand on her shoulder, gentle, yet there's a seriousness that's hanging off of him now.

"I know you care about him," Jiraiya says. "I can see it, I _saw _it." He shakes his head slightly. "But from what Kakashi's told me, that boy will stop at nothing to kill his brother. You saw it for yourself."

The desperation in Sasuke's eyes. The will to keep getting up, to keep fighting, to _never stop fighting_ even after his wrist was broken, his ribs were cracked, her face pummeled. It took a jutsu so powerful that even Jiraiya had no idea what it was to get him to stop fighting.

Naruko knows. She swallows, staring at Jiraiya and hanging off of his every word.

"I know," she whispers.

"He will stop at nothing," Jiraiya says.

There's a long silence.

"And I'm not saying that because I think that he's a bad person, or even that I think he's a bad friend, or even that I think he'll do bad things…" Jiraiya continues. "...I'm only saying it because he isn't the kind of person you're going to be able to live happily ever after with."

Naruko swallows again, and she can't bring herself to maintain eye-contact with Jiraiya.

"I know," she whispers.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Next chapter should be out soon. Don't forget to review!**

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**Cheers!**


	3. I Can Wake Him Up

**This chapter's longer than the other two by a decent margin.**

**Unbeta'd. If you want to be my beta, feel free to PM me.**

* * *

I Am Aware Now

_Chapter III_

* * *

She finds it hard to focus on this mission with _him_ in the back of her mind, his screams, the vacant look in his eyes.

But focus she does, because she has to, because Jiraiya implores on her how important it is. And because he reminds her that it's the only way they can fix him, whatever happened to him.

Learning the _Rasengan_ is tough, but she manages it. She manages it because she has something to prove, because she knows that she can stick it to that blonde hag, because she knows that if _he_ wakes up… _when _he wakes up… he'll have to be impressed by the fact that she can use a jutsu the Yondaime Hokage used.

The fight against Orochimaru… it sends chills down her spine.

Because this is the man who'd attacked them in the Forest. This is the man who had killed the Sandaime Hokage. This is the man who had single handedly brought the Leaf Village to its knees.

She thought she had seen power in Jiraiya, she'd thought she had seen power in Sasuke's brother, and yet, the power she sees in this man is breathtaking. With the use of his hands restricted, he's still capable of fending off people as powerful as Jiraiya and Tsunade.

They drive him away eventually; eventually.

* * *

"Tell me exactly what happened to him," Tsunade asks, as they settle in an inn for dinner one night.

She's heard Naruko go on and on about how she needs to 'heal' Sasuke, but she hasn't actually heard out what happened. Now that she's agreed to become Hokage though...

Jiraiya looks at Naruko, who looks at him. Her lip wobbles slightly.

"It was Uchiha Itachi," Jiraiya says, and Tsunade stills at the words that come out of Jiraiya's mouth.

"The boy who killed his entire clan, eh?" Tsunade shakes her head. "A monster if I've ever heard of one. Continue, Jiraiya," she says.

"It wasn't an ordinary genjutsu, Tsunade," Jiraiya implores; the way he puts it makes Tsunade still and that in itself makes Naruko want to puke. "It was something _malevolent_, evil. He looked Sasuke in the eyes and the boy just started screaming, screaming like he was being tortured. When Itachi was done with him, he was unconscious."

"Powerful," Tsunade admits, begrudgingly. "But that's not uncommon for a genjutsu made by the _Sharingan_. Were the medical shinobi in the village unable to revive him?"

"I've received reports on our journey and the news doesn't look good," Jiraiya murmurs. "As far as I can tell, he's…" He glances at Naruko, swallows, then looks back at Tsunade. "He's still unconscious; totally unresponsive. He hasn't moved a muscle in over a month."

"You're leaving something out," Tsunade says and Jiraiya sighs.

He leans across the table and the blonde cocks her ear, listening carefully.

"Good God," she says in a hushed tone, and Naruko's blood seems to freeze.

"Ero-sennin," Naruko hisses. "Have you been keeping something from me?" she demands of him.

"It's nothing you need to hear," Jiraiya says.

"It's _my_ teammate!" Naruko says. "If you can tell baa-chan than you can tell me!"

Tsunade makes eye contact with Jiraiya and solemnly shakes her head.

"I'll tell you," Jiraiya murmurs. "Just not now."

Naruko's fingers curl into balls in her lap. She glares daggers at Jiraiya.

Tsunade sighs.

"I can fix it," she decides after a moment.

Her face is flooded with joy. "You can?" Naruko says, and she's smiling from ear to ear now.

"I can wake him up," Tsunade amends after a moment.

Naruko doesn't seem to be fazed. "Yes! Yes!" she cheers, and she crawls over the table, hugging Tsunade tightly. She misses the significant look that the two old teammates share.

* * *

"Why didn't you interfere?"

They think she's asleep.

Maybe she would be. Maybe she would be if she didn't hear Sasuke's torturous _screams_ in her ears.

Jiraiya was silent in response to Shizune's question.

She hears him shift slightly.

"I decided to let him fight his own battle," Jiraiya says after a moment.

"What battle is that? What did the boy want?" Shizune asks.

"He was there the night it happened," Jiraiya murmured, and Shizune gasps slightly. "He saw the boy kill his parents. And… that wasn't the first time he was put under that genjutsu." Jiraiya sighed. "From the reports I've received, the condition he's in is similar to how he was after the massacre, only much more severe."

"This Uchiha Itachi…" Shizune's voice sounds strained.

Naruko's heart thuds as she listens.

"... what kind of a _monster_ forces his own flesh and blood to watch the murder of his kin?" Shizune grounds out. Naruko freezes.

"That's the nature of the genjutsu," Jiraiya says in a somber tone. "When he used it against Kakashi, it was designed to inflict physical pain and incapicitate him." The crackling of the firepit could be heard as he spoke. "With Sasuke, however, it seems that Itachi was trying to spur on his desire for revenge…"

"But to go that far?" Shizune says. "Do we know the details of the genjutsu from Kakashi?"

"Yes," Jiraiya murmurs. "From what Kakashi says, he was locked in a world totally under the control of Itachi—he was able to control space and time. He made a single second feel like an hour, and from what Kakashi said, the genjutsu lasted for there days."

"Three days…" Shizune breathed.

"Three days of watching his clan be slaughtered, again and again," Jiraiya says bitterly. "I should have intervened. I _should have intervened._" He sighs. "Even if Tsunade-hime can revive him, I doubt that his state of mind will ever be the same."

"It must have felt like years to the poor boy," Shizune whispers. "If every second felt like an hour."

Naruko can feel the tears leaking down her face. She rolls over inside of her tent and the sound makes the two of them fall silent.

_Sasuke_, she thinks.

* * *

When they arrive home, there's no welcoming ceremony. Every hand is still being used to help repair the village after Orochimaru's attack—much has been repaired in the month since they left, but there's still plenty of work to be done.

Their small party of four walks through the streets, drawing more than a few looks owing to Jiraiya's reputation. It's been so long since Tsunade has been in Konoha, however, that she isn't as recognized as he is.

It would be proper for their destination to be the Hokage tower, where the elders resided, that way they could have Tsunade inaugurated as soon as possible.

However, Tsunade was anything but proper. And she would never forgive herself if she didn't heal Naruko's friend as soon as possible, not after all the blonde had done for her.

They make their way to the hospital. It's easy to figure out which room Sasuke is in—when they get there, Sakura is sitting in a chair beside his bed.

"Naruko?" she whispers, rubbing dark circles underneath her eyes. "You're back?" The pink haired girl blinks. "Who's that?"

Naruko pays her no mind, her attention focused solely on…

Sasuke.

He's so still it's scary—his face blank, expressionless, his eyes wide open. They've cleaned him up, healed his wounds. He looks like a blank doll, utterly vacant, and that _terrifies_ her.

Sasuke isn't vacant… he always has something, whether it's irritation or cockiness bristling off of him, it's always something. He isn't supposed to be empty like this.

Tsunade steps forward and Naruko follows her; Jiraiya and Shizune hover in the doorway.

Naruko stands beside Sakura as Tsunade goes to work.

The future Hokage's hands glow green—she gently places her palms on Sasuke's head.

It takes a minute, and Tsunade's face looks strained, but eventually, she retracts. Sasuke's eyes flutter closed.

"Did… did it work…?" Naruko asks quietly.

Slowly, Sasuke's eyes open; he looks at Naruko.

"Sasuke!" Sakura cries, and she throws her arounds around the young Uchiha.

He doesn't move a muscle, he just continues to stare at Naruko.

"Naruko…" Sasuke whispers.

She's the one to break eye contact, because there's an uncomfortable realization in her gut.

The vacant look in his eyes was still there.

* * *

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**This went unbetaed. If you want to become my beta, feel free to PM me.**


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